Stress, More Anger and Unhappiness, and Scattered Thoughts

Back in Hueneme.

Yesterday at the airport, talked to both Dad and Lisa. Dad has concerns about the vent for the kitchen hood (not yet installed)... he also mentioned something about the refrigerator needing to be moved. This was news. Lisa said that yes this was a possibility raised at Monday's meeting. The window is about three to six inches away from the refrigerator... the contractor wants to put a half wall (which by the way is NOT in the plans) up from the counter to the overhead soffit to "hide" the fridge, but then that's up against the window. SO they want to move the fridge to the other end of the counter... but they think this will cut into the pantry. More lost space. Lisa seems OK with this, but I don't. The more lost space is killing me... I hate clutter, and I see this turning into a clutterfuck. Plus, I'm none too pleased that Lisa didn't tell me this on Monday.

She said she didn't want to add to my stress and anger. Well, that's fine, but she should know by now--after knowing each other for over two and a half decades and 17 years of marriage, that my anger grows exponentially with each new piece of bad news... so I'd rather be informed of bad news immediately, all at once, instead of having it dribble in, during which with each new piece I relive each old piece and they snowball quickly. By the end of the call, Lisa's in tears, I'm pissed, and sorry, and angry at myself, and fuming at Fred, that he's putting us through this (look, man, at this point, I could give two shits about a solution, I just want someone to blame).

So by call's end, I ask if there's anything else. Nothing. Except that she found a new fridge... two hundred dollars more than the old. And that the oven we want (in black) isn't available... backordered big time. Great. But other that that nothing else looms on the horizon.

Except this morning, she tells me that she bought new locks for the doors (since the gold stuff we had before doesn't match the gunmetal lines of the glass front door and side light)... and they cost more than expected. $360. That wasn't in our budget since we were going to use the existing locks (which were all keyed to the same key... I'm willing to bet these new locks aren't... so we'll need to get that done... any guesses as to how much that'll cost?).

And when we get into the car for me to drive Kyle to the bus stop and Lisa and Jack to school, the damn tire light comes on (after I had taken the car in last week). Oh, yeah, that light came on earlier in the week. Gee, I need to take care of that now. Great.

So after I drop off Lisa and Jack, I cruise by the house. Most of the south and east facing walls have been stuccoed (no visible external vent for the kitchen hood... whatever... if they have to, they'll have to cut into the wall and repair it later... because DAMNIT that vent is going in there). I don't inspect any closer because the sandblaster is there ready to work on the garage... there's no stucco on the west wall at all. I take a couple of pics but my heart really isn't into it (I think I'm getting depressed... hmm, movement from anger to depression... is this a good thing? does this mean I'm moving on?) ... I'll post them later today.

But for now there's too much to do (car, City water stuff, client stuff for work). I need to breathe. What I really need to do is ride. But I won't have time for that today. Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe...