Don't Want to Think About It

Still depressed (less angry, which I guess is good). Still stressed. Yesterday, I ended up taking a total of three sublinguals for the chest-tightening. For a while, it go so bad I thought I'd need a vicodin, but it faded to just tightness.

Lisa took me out to see a movie to take my mind off all of it (Knocked Up ... made me laugh hard), it worked to take the tightness in the chest away. Until afterwards and we got home... and I took the third sublingual.

Today so far, no sublingual. Yet. Lisa's on the phone with the architect as we speak. I guess he's going to drop by the plans for re-submit.

Whatever. I don't want to talk about it. Don't want to think about it.

...though I'm sure that Dad will want to today at the boys' sporting events -- Kyle's water polo at 1 and Jack's baseball at 2 -- yesterday, dad caught me on the phone in mid-meltdown over Lowe's bid... he called me back to see if I was all right and then to offer assistance [having already "crunched some numbers"]... at that point, I told him I didn't want to talk about it until after we got the third written bid from Coastline on Monday [they called in the late afternoon to let us know that the questionnaire has allowed Fred to put together the bid that he'll deliver Monday]... and that quite frankly I didn't even want to think about it at the time... this being before the first sublingual.

[It occurs to me that I haven't explained the whole sublingual thing: in December of 05, I was hospitalized for chest pains... after an MRI and an agiogram, it turns out that it was stress-induced esophogeal spasms... for which I was prescribed sublinguals (pills that go beneath my tongue and melt away and into the bloodstream quickly) to relax the spasms to relieve the pain, as well as vicodin when the pain gets REALLY bad... guess I'm supposed to go back to the hospital if it gets REEEEEEALLY REAAAAAALLY bad]

Stress-induced.

Don't think about it. Don't think about it. I keep thinking that. Not sure if that's effective, as I feel the chest tighten again.